Thursday, July 21, 2016

Secret Life Of Pets review

*Warning! This post contains spoilers! Don't read if you plan on watching the movie!*

Hey Y’all! 

Today I have a review of... Drum roll please... The Secret Life Of Pets! 



The movie I was so anxiously awaiting. The commercials were perfection and I was just so excited! 

Guys... This movie....

Was. Horrible. 

Let me give you a summary.

Okie dokie, the start of the movie is super adorable with ultra adorable characters and many laugh out loud moments. Lilah was thinking “Oh wow! I love this! Super cute! Yay!” But then all of Lilah’s dreams were crushed when a wee little bunny rabbit was introduced. Let me explain. 

Well... Max, the main character (who is a dog) loves his owner Katie. Max gets upset when Katie brings home a new dog Duke. Max pulls a stunt and tries to get Duke kicked out. This makes Duke angry. While at the dog park Duke gets revenge and pulls max by the collar into the busy streets, and they first meet a gang of vicious cats, and then they meet a gang of forgotten (or ‘flushed’) pets. This gang is of many different types of animals including crocodiles, a tattooed pig, a bulldog, and the leader, snowball, the bunny....

So, Max and Duke join this gang, but the gang doesn’t let in domestic animals, because the gang hates humans (since humans are who gave these pets away.) Max and Duke think the gang can help them get home so they lie to get into the gang. 

Duke says something along these lines:
“Humans? We hate them! We KILLED our owners.” The rabbit wants more details, so duke tells him that he murdered them using a blender. A BLENDER. That was when I realized this movie was not what I thought it would be. 

The movie goes on this way, and eventually Max’s friends realize he’s gone. Gidget, who, by the way may be the reason I’m giving this movie as many stars as I am, goes to find Max. So eventually she finds him, and you’d think the movie would end. But no! She tells the gang that Max is a pet, and now, not only is the gang plotting to take out the entire human race (At one point in the movie they used those exact words,) they are also out to kill Max and Duke. The main characters. OF A CHILDREN’S MOVIE FOR CRYING OUT LOUD. There was a scene where the rabbit is drawing a map of how to get to Max, he was using a red marker. When he shows where Max is, he presses down on the marker and the ink (which indicated blood) goes everywhere. My mom and I shared glances. 

Not only was there indicated death in this movie, there was actual death! A viper, which the flushed pets use to initiate the new flushed pets (By a bite,) dies accidentally at the hands of duke. 

Seriously. 

Anddd lets not forget the scene which would have had me bawling as a little kid. I would put money on the fact that I would have made my family leave the theater. They make you so sure that Max and Duke are going to drown, when the animal control bus falls into the river. Like there is soft music and the two fully submerged dogs stare at each other while preparing to take their last breath. And then that stupid little bunny pops in and saves them. 

But that wasn’t the only part that would have had me in tears. Duke was sharing his past, about how he loved his owner so much (and it showed super cute images of Duke as a puppy) But Duke shared how he got lost and ended up in the pound. He also subtly  mentioned that he was there for a long time, and if he went back (which they almost do several times) he would be euthanized. I think that statement would have gone over kid’s head, since it wasn’t said that directly, but still this is heavy stuff for kids!
But anyways, Max convinces Duke to go back to his owner’s house, and he does. But he shortly found out that his owner was DEAD. 

About 3/4 of the way through this movie I was practically praying for it too be over. It was the SAME THING OVER AND OVER AGAIN! Max and Duke escape. Max and Duke are captured by animal control. The flushed pets catch up to Max and Duke. Max and Duke escape. Max and Duke are captured by animal control. The flushed pets catch up to Max and Duke. I was so done with this movie. So naturally I was so relived when the credits rolled. But as soon as I was out of the theater I was struck with the realization that my mom and I were the only ones who hated it! Okay, okay, I know everyone is titled to their opinion, but I just can’t stand this movie! 

So, I am giving it two stars. I would be one, but I cannot discredit the humor and cute characters (especially Gidget.) But even then I definitely do not recommend this movie to anyone, especially children under the age of 9. 

So that was my opinion on The Secret Life of Pets. If you liked this post, let me know, and I’ll do more reveiws in the future!





1 comment:

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